The hardest thing about this page was the sound effect in the second panel. What I’m trying to portray is a swift sharp inhale, the kind one would do when experiencing a sudden or suddenly intensifying pain. Think poking a bruise.
I wrestled with using “s”s, “f”s and “h”s in varying combinations. Ultimately this is what I decided on.
Coming up with SFX… this is something I totally never considered when I first decided to make a webcomic (or online graphic novel if I’m feeling fancy). It seems so obvious now of course, but in the beginning stages it never even crossed my mind.
It’s kinda funny if you think about it.
Now, I get to make up my own words… there’s more power in this than I originally thought.
Hehehe…
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I think she should still be holding her head in the 5th panel.
And also it seems that the boy’s shadow has it’s hair missing.
@Daniil
I was considering that for the 5th panel but ultimately I decided that the panel would looking too ‘full’ and ‘crowded’ if I put her arm in there. It bugged me a bit but I hoped the overall composition would be improved by doing so. As far as the shadow goes I purposefully left it undefined; trying to add to the mystery a bit.
It’s a little annoying to see that what I’m trying to do isn’t coming off as planned… but that just means I need to try harder!!! Thanks for the feedback it really helps me think about my process… hopefully this’ll lead to improvement!!!!!
Personally, I think you should add some hair to the shadow. As it is, it’s rather strange.
@an alien
Looks like I have another page to go back and edit!! XD
Very late (just got here!) but I would have added my vote for hair as well. My first thought was Gollum.
What is the purpose of the bubbles?
They show how she’s feeling a bit whoozy after hitting her head.
Everybody seems a tinsy bit too critical. They don’t even mention all the thousands of good things about this comic!